My Best Friend's a Bitch
by broomcloud
Summary: This is what I imagine would happen if Sena, rather than Kodaka, was Yozora's childhood friend. Silly one-shot rated T for Yozora's insults and swearing.


When former best friends Yozora "Sora" Mikazuki and Sena Kashiwazaki crossed paths after ten years apart—

"Watch where you're going, bitch."

"I could say the same to you, weasel woman!"

—it wasn't a very happy reunion.

They had first met each other in preschool, on a clear autumn day. It was recess, and Sena had just thrown a fit to get the swing all to herself. She was arcing through the air with her eyes closed, imagining herself sailing above the clouds, when someone gave a violent yank on the chains and sent her into a crooked tailspin. When she opened her eyes she was greeted by the sight of a sullen-looking and slightly effeminate boy with black hair.

"Your turn is up!" he spat. "I've been waiting all day for the swing and you just stole it from me. Now scram."

Sena, spoiled and sheltered, was quite unused to such rudeness and would have none of it.

"You dumb jerk! I never saw you waiting; you're just a filthy rotten liar! Wait your turn or I'll tell Imai-sensei on you!" The boy laughed mockingly at the girl's dependence on adults.

"Oh, I'm so scared, the spoiled snob's gonna tell her Mommy on me!" he cried. Sena blushed; as the blonde was widely mocked among her peers for once mistakenly calling their music teacher "Papa," this jab hit particularly close to home.

"Well, I don't even have a Mom, you idiot!" was her biting retort.

A few minutes later a member of the school staff was begrudgingly pulling the two apart while waving off the the mass of children shouting "Fight, fight!" around them. Because of the Kashiwazaki family's considerable influence the blame immediately went to Yozora, and Sena watched smugly as her opponent was given a stern talking-to.

"Say you're sorry, Yozora," the supervisor said, forcing the "boy" to turn around. Yozora scowled but was finally able to whisper a small "sorry." The yard duty appeared satisfied and went off to stop another child named Rika from showing a group of students the wonders of snail procreation.

"Are you hurt?" Yozora asked after a few awkward seconds had passed.

"J-just a few scratches, no big deal," Sena said, quickly wiping at her eyes."You?" Yozora rubbed a bruise on her arm but nodded.

"Papa will be mad at me for getting in a fight," Sena said. "He'll probably spank me after dinner tonight." Yozora winced in sympathy.

"That stinks. My Mom probably won't notice anything," she said, kicking the tanbark with a worn sneaker.

Suddenly it occured to the blonde that there was something strange about this person's name. It was too feminine; it didn't make sense. Unless...

"Are...are you a girl?" Sena asked hesitantly.

Yozora turned bright red. "Well duh! Of course I'm a girl! Just 'cause I don't wear a stupid frilly dress doesn't mean I'm a boy!" Seeing as Sena herself was currently wearing what could be called a very frilly and girly outfit, the two got into another squabble. However, a sense of mutual respect was growing between the two of them. Sena was impressed by the tomboy's gutsy attitude and disregard for rules; Yozora was impressed that a spoiled rich girl like Sena could hit hard enough to leave a visible bruise. Over the next week they began spending every recess together, getting into all sorts of mischief. Despite outward appearances, the two had a lot in common.

It was the first time that either girl had found someone that they could call their friend. Unfortunately, this new-found companionship would be short-lived.

* * *

><p>For family reasons, Sena and her father were forced to move to Sweden just a few weeks after she had met Yozora, or "Sora" as she had started to call her. It was all quite sudden and all of the packing and preparation left Sena little time to spend with the tomboy. To make matters worse, Yozora had become quite cold and distant after hearing the news, choosing to play by herself rather than with Sena.<p>

"To be honest, I'm a bit glad that you won't be seeing that girl any longer," Pegasus had said to her. "She was a bad influence and she didn't come from a good family." He also forbade her from contacting Yozora in the future, believing such a long-distance relationship to be unhealthy.

Yozora felt hurt that Sena hadn't asked for her number, yet she herself was too stubborn to broach the subject. It was true that she began avoiding Sena, but in her mind this was the kindest thing to do. She simply could not hide her sadness at the prospect of losing Sena's friendship, and she believed that expressing her emotions would make it harder for them both when the time came.

On the moving day Sena waited for Yozora at the playground. Despite her friend's change in attitude, she still believed that the tomboy would be there to see her off. When Yozora finally appeared, she simply muttered "goodbye" without meeting Sena's eyes, then ran off. What Sena didn't know was that the tomboy would spend the next few hours crying in her room. As Sena got into the car with her father he noticed the tears threatening to spill from his daughter's eyes.

"Don't worry, my darling," he said reassuringly. "You'll make new friends in no time."

* * *

><p>As the years passed, Yozora (now unmistakably female with her long hair) began to harbor bitter thoughts toward Sena, the girl who had left her for Sweden. She knew it was unfair, but whenever she was stuck without a lab partner, or was picked on for being a loner, or had to eat lunch in the bathroom to avoid the other students, a part of her blamed Sena. She imagined the blonde enjoying a life surrounded by glamorous European friends while she herself spent her breaks in the infirmary and went to family restaurants alone. Never did she suspect the truth, that in a faraway country her once-friend was feeling just as lonely and out-of-place.<p>

As they neared adulthood both girls made do in their own way, which is to say that each had her own system of compensating for their lack of friends. Sena, who had become even more beautiful than expected as well as gifted in academics and sports, was able to surround herself with people in order to at least _look _as if she had friends. However, those people were merely followers, sycophants that she despised. The only thing they really cared about was her looks and money. Meanwhile the people Sena genuinely wanted to befriend avoided her at all costs because of her unbearable arrogance.

Yozora, though also extremely beautiful and smart, had not fared well. Over time she had developed an icy aura that practically screamed to everyone, "I want to be left alone." The few brave souls that ventured to befriend her were inevitably driven away by the painful awkwardness and eccentric habits the loner had developed from constantly being alone. The only friend she had the was one that she imagined for herself: Tomo-chan.

Both girls spent many years locked in this self-destructive spiral. Then, in high school, Pegasus had some exciting news for his daughter: the two were finally moving back to Japan. More specifically, back to the town where the only friend she'd ever had might still be living. Even though it was foolish to get her hopes up, she spent her nights praying that the two could reunite. Although her prayers would eventually be answered, they would not do so in the way she had expected. Case in point: their first meeting.

* * *

><p>It had been a bad day for Yozora Mikazuki. She had gotten a 79 on an exam that she had studied religiously for and the teacher refused to bump up her score, and then she had to hear all day about some transfer student who would no doubt be showered with sickening admiration by her shallow peers. Then of course, there was Yozora's home life, but the now long-haired girl didn't even want to <em>think<em> about that.

"Watch where you're going, bitch," she grunted after bumping into a blonde female student. (And who dyed their hair blonde anyway?)

"I could say the same to you, weasel woman!" the girl shouted back. Yozora stopped in her tracks. Weasel woman?! She had been called a lot of things in her life, but that was definitely the strangest and most idiotic. She turned to face the dye-job slut, happy to take her anger out on someone who was clearly asking for it. But when she saw the other girl's face, time froze.

She recognized that face. _Well, I guess I know who the transfer student from overseas is._

"No comeback, huh?" her childhood friend said haughtily with a flip of her hair. "Serves you right, _weasel_!" Yozora watched the other girl flounce away.

_So...I just found the friend I never thought I'd see again, and yet after two seconds of interaction I despise her with a passion,_ Yozora thought. _I really do have the worst luck ever._

They met again in the hall a few days later. Sena was walking with her posse of pseudo-friends when she overheard the black-haired girl speaking to a teacher. Who called her "Yozora-san."  
><em>WhatwhatWHAT?<br>_She told her admirers to get lost and lurked outside the classroom Yozora was visiting. When the violet-eyed student had finished her conversation, she walked out the door and was instantly greeted by what honestly looked like a stalker. She screamed automatically and was very embarrassed by how cute it sounded. Then she recognized the creepy lurker.

"You again! What are you doing out here?" she said indignantly. Sena, meanwhile, was finally able to get a good look at the other girl's face. Yes, this person was definitely her Yozora. She would know that angry purple gaze anywhere.

"Yo...Yozora? N-no way..." she whispered. The "weasel woman" smiled bitterly.

"Slow on the uptake, aren't you?" she said. Sena said nothing and continued to look horrified.

Yozora rolled her eyes. "How do you think I feel, now that the one person I used to get along with has turned into some sort of gigantic-uddered, Botoxed...floozy!"

The blonde gasped a little at harsh insult and self-consciously shifted her crossed arms to cover more of her large chest.

"You _bitch_! Wait, actually, that's just sour grapes isn't it? You're jealous that you didn't fare quite so well in the growth department. You're still as scrawny as tomboyish as ever, even with that long hair of yours."

"I-I'm not scrawny!" Yozora protested with a blush. "I have a slender, _normal_ figure, unlike you, you Eurotrash porn-star!"

"That is so _mean! _My God, I seriously hate you so fucking much!" Sena cried, stamping her foot. "I can't believe I used to like you!"

"Same here," Yozora muttered, sobering them both slightly. Staring at their toes, both felt a sense of regret wash over them, both for their own shortcomings, and above all for those of the other girl. _How could we have been friends...? _they thought in unison. Now neither were even sure that they wanted to be.

Since the two were in different classes, they once again they lost contact. Until a few weeks later when Kodaka came into their lives.

"I was just talking to my friend. MY AIR FRIEND!"

_"Oh, God..."_

Kodaka had become an acquaintance of Yozora's after he caught her conversing with the imaginary Tomo-chan one day. Like Sena, he was blonde and half-caucasian, but in most other ways he was vastly different. His golden hair had black patches here and there, almost like it had been burnt, and something about his face and mannerisms was reminiscent of a cliche gangster. However, nothing could be further from the truth about the kind and considerate young man, who like Sena had returned to Japan only that year. Looking at his shy, unsure face, Yozora decided that there was something about him she liked.

Kodaka, for his part, liked Yozora too despite their awkward first encounter. Something about her cold, blunt attitude was refreshing; it reminded him somewhat of his little sister, Kobato. (It also didn't hurt that Yozora was quite attractive.) The two began hanging out together during breaks every so often, mostly just reading books while making uncomfortable small talk. However, the two were soon almost inseparable as both had found someone who shared their loneliness and hopeless lack of social ability. They were even thinking about starting a club. Yozora was, for the first time in years, truly happy. Until a certain blonde made her reappearance.

* * *

><p>"No." Door slam. Whining puppy noises from the other side.<p>

"Why, Yozora? I thought you started the club because you wanted to make friends," Kodaka said in confusion.

"Not with that slut!" Yozora roared. More protests from behind the door.

"Come on, Yozora. You're acting crazy. Just open the door."

"No fucking way."

"Open the do—"

"JUST LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sena screamed, scrambling through the open window and landing roughly on her butt in the middle of the room. "Ow..." she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"SENA!" Yozora exclaimed, part battle-cry and part like an owner scolding a misbehaving dog.

"Hey, why are you on first-name basis with her if—"

"Kodaka, shut up for a second. I need to dispose of this rotten meat." She walked toward the blonde with a stone-like expression that suggested something violent was about to occur.

Kodaka watched in horrified awe as Yozora descended on a crying and terrified Sena.

"H-hey...Y-Yozora...come on...you're not going to..."

"Who knows what I'm capable of right now. It would be best to leave," the other girl said with a cruel glint in her eye. She pointed her foot right at the fallen girl's face, as if directing her to lick it. Having lost all her patience, Sena screwed her eyes shut and pushed herself to her feet, screaming,

"That's enough, Yozora! Please would you just shut up and hear me out? Just this one time?"

Surprisingly, Yozora shut her mouth and waited for the girl to continue.

After peeking out with one blue eye to make sure she was safe, Sena proceeded to speak. "I-I want friends! Is that so bad? P-people don't like me for some...strange reason (here Yozora scoffed) ...and I just don't want to be alone anymore! Isn't that the point of your stupid club in the first place? You agree, right...uh...?"

"Kodaka Hasegawa," Kodaka offered amiably. "Nice to meet y—"

"Hey! No you don't." Yozora intervened, stepping in front of the boy. "You don't get to come in here and try to steal my friend away from me. What are you going to do, try and seduce him with those ungodly meat bags?"

Snot and tears ran down Sena's perfect face; she looked surprisingly unladylike when she cried. "No, godammnit! I don't want to be _his_ friend! I don't even know him! I-I...I wanted to try to patch things up with YOU, idiot! But just forget it, you big fat jerk!" She ran from the room sobbing, wailing things like "Die Yozora!" and "I hate you BAAAAAAWWWWW" until her voice faded into the corridoors. There was silence for a moment before Kodaka decided to go out on a limb with his now-sulking friend.

"Look, Yozora, I don't know what the deal is between you two, but I think you should try to make up with her. In her own strange way she reached out to you just now. She must be someone important to you, right? Otherwise I don't think you would get this emotional over someone trying to join the club." Yozora stared at the floor and gave no response.

"Just...if she ever comes back, promise me you won't lose your temper like that," Kodaka finished.

The blood rushing through Yozora's head was making her dizzy, so she sat down in a nearby chair. "Hmm...I won't make any promises, but...I'll try." she muttered, mortified at the crack in her voice and the lump rising in her throat.

"And, um, Kodaka...?"

"Yeah?"

Yozora fiddled with her hair. "Sorry for, uh, yelling at you."

Kodaka smiled at the sudden maturity and humility that Yozora was showing. Maybe she was changing, just a little bit, into a good person.

Then his smile faded when he realized that Yozora was glaring at him impatiently.

"I apologized, you twit. Now accept!" she snapped.

"Y-yes ma'am!" Well, Rome wasn't built in a day...

The sky was a deep orange as Yozora walked out into the unusually humid spring air. Try as she might, she couldn't find a trace of the runaway meat girl...well, perhaps she shouldn't get in the habit of calling her that. She really couldn't help those fetish-y lumps on her chest, could she?

Yozora walked off in the direction of the most probable place the rich girl could be.

* * *

><p>The sound of a doorbell ringing echoed through the Kashiwazaki family's large estate.<p>

Mr. Kashiwazaki's female butler, Stella, opened the large grand doors to reveal a sheepish-looking girl with long black hair and a school uniform.

"Uh...hello," Yozora stammered. The butler stared at her for a moment.

"Sir, your hooker is here!" she called into the house.

Yozora blanched, too horrified to be insulted. "Nononono! I-I'm no-"

The butler smiled slightly. "It was a joke. Master Kashiwazaki is currently at a school board meeting. Besides, I'd know that uniform anywhere. You're one of Sena's classmates. Do you have some business with either of the masters?"

Still reeling from being called a prostitute, Yozora took a second to answer. "I'm, er, here to speak to Se...uh, Kashiwazaki-san," she mumbled, not sure how to address Sena to the butler.

The stately woman's face lit up in a charming smile. "Oho! This is the first evidence I've seen of Mistress Sena having friends. Thank you for taking care of her," she said, bowing politely.

Yozora wanted to say that the two weren't friends, or that it was complicated and that Sena probably hated her, but then she might not be allowed inside, so she just said, "Sure."

After leading Yozora through several grand and gorgeous rooms and a staircase lit with large and impractical chandeliers, Stella finally knocked a gloved hand against Sena's bedroom door. "A visitor for you, Mistress."

A ragged sigh could be heard on the other side of the glossy door. "I don't want to see anyone right now. I'd really just like to be left alone; I'm not feeling well." Giving no regard to her master's wishes whatsoever, Stella smiled and opened the door. "She's ready to see you now," she said pleasantly, ushering Yozora inside.

Sena, who was playing a PSP game under the covers of a beautiful canopy bed, sat upright and cried out in protest at the butler's disobedience. In a flash, however, the perpetrator was gone, leaving Yozora and Sena alone in the room. The blonde was in a thin nightgown and her hair was wet; she had probably just taken a shower. Sena wrapped her fluffy robe tightly around herself, not meeting the other girl's eyes.

"What do you want? Did you come here to make fun of me some more?"

Yozora sighed, running a hand through her dark bangs. "No...I'm here to say...sorry," she said, uttering the last word as if it pained her to apologize (it did.) "I was out of line today, and I'm not going to pretend that I wasn't. I just wanted you to know so I wouldn't keep feeling bad all day. That's all."

Sena twisted a lock of gold hair in her fingers haughtily. "What m-makes you think I would even want your apology now..." she trailed off. Why was she being so stubborn? Of course she wanted the apology! "Okay, fine. I accept."

In response, Yozora turned from the room, happy to be relieved of her guilt. However, a soft and quavering voice told her to stop.

Yozora turned. She saw Sena's face, red and on the verge of nervous tears, and looking maybe just _kind_ of cute. Her embarrassed expression hadn't changed a bit in the past ten years. Sena's hand was shaking slightly as she held up her game console.

"W-would you like...to, um, play some Monsters and Dungeons with me? I have a spare PSP you can borrow...i-if you really want..." Although still worded as if she were doing Yozora a favor, Sena's request was clearly sincere; it was almost as if she was about to burst from how badly she wanted to have the other girl's company. And Yozora, with a badly-hidden smile, decided it might be alright to stay for a little while longer. She plonked down on the side of Sena's bed and turned the PSP on with a devious grin.

"Okay, but I'm warning you, I'm a boss at this game. You're going down," she said with a wicked laugh.

"Hah! I'm at a five-star rank already, I'll have you know," Sena boasted.

"Seriously?! Just how much have you been playing that thing?!"

"J-just a few days...H-hey, what are you doing? Don't look at my stats! Yozoraaa!"

-END-

* * *

><p>My first published fanfiction, done! I realize that I glossed over (or just plain skipped) some important things, but I didn't want to get too detailed with a one-shot. If anything was awkwardly worded or hard to follow, please tell me so I can fix it. I worry that only I can follow my incoherent rambling. XD In case you couldn't tell, I love writing Yozora's insults and Sena's reactions to said insults. I may decide to flesh this story out a bit just because the two of them are so fun to write for.<p>

Thanks for reading.


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